We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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