Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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