yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
