wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
