I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
