fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
