Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she looked like the before picture.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
