brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
