At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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