well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
