I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
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I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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