yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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