so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
