is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
