It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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