He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
