White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize