That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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