Buhtt sex?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
