I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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