How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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