I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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