I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
