I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
