JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
