I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize