Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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