NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
