My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
