i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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