You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
