Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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