I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
