the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
