If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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