is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
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I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
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Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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