i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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