question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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