is your mom at the bar?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
And my parents said I crawled through the house
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
