I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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