In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
