You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
