the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
