Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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