so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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