I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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