I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
