We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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