this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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