so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
