I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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