If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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