Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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