just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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