I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I will be naked everywhere
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
