You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
