Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
