Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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