anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
