i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
