this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
