you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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