words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Sacagawea was the original milf.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
