Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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