I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
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You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
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Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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